The Baby That Came! Part 1 - The Build Up

Hello! Long time no speak! Now don't get on to me... I KNOW I haven't posted anything for a while, (over 4 months now!) but I have the best excuse ever. I've become a daddy. A surprise daddy. And as the little bundle of joy turned up unexpectedly we had zero provisions to cope with his arrival and zero room to house all of the new provisions we needed to look after him properly. The past quarter of a year, (WOW, it doesn't feel that long but typing it really does put the time frame in to perspective) we have been buying cars, renewing rental agreements to make sure we have a stable environment to bring the little fella up in, dismantling and selling furniture, buying and building other furniture, sorting out and setting up bank accounts and ISAs, chasing government tax relief and benefit payments, (I can see why people see having babies as a career choice as the money doled out is ridiculous) making sure everyone who wants to meet the new arrival gets the chance in what little time we have when I'm not working and we even managed to fit in a Summer holiday! (Booked and paid for pre-baby so we had no choice but to slog the 10 week old along with us. Thankfully it was a UK based holiday.)  Things have now started to slow down for us all and I can finally start to put my thoughts to paper, (or PC) and I think due to the fact we have no pre-birth photos, scans or baby shower memories etc. getting this all down while it is still relatively fresh in my mind is a must. I feel I owe it to both ourselves as parents and maybe even to our son who might come across this at some point in the future to record my view of the whole situation to be able to reflect upon... and maybe even laugh a little at a later point.

O.K.

So I think this is going to be a big entry in it's entirety. There is a LOT of ground to cover both before and after the birth and although I could give you a 5000 word blow by blow account of the experience and the aftermath of the event I feel breaking it down in to two, (maybe three) moderately sized chunks will work out better for everyone.

So here goes:

The last 4 months have been the craziest, happiest, stressful and emotional months of my life... and I wouldn't change them for the world!

Just in case you aren't subscribed to my Youtube channel, (although you really should be as it's AWESOME) and you're not aware of my circumstances I have become the proud Father of a bouncing baby boy. Now that in itself is kind of unremarkable I admit; I understand thousands of babies are born every day... but here's the twist in my little story: neither myself nor my partner knew she was pregnant. (I used to refer to my significant other as my girlfriend but nowadays with us being parents it doesn't seem permanent enough a title!) And once again, you're probably saying "C'mon Padge, lots of people don't find out they're pregnant straight away and sometimes not until they're just about to drop!" and once again you'd be right. But rather than months, weeks or even days warning we had from diagnosis to birth the grand total of 6 hours notice.

6 hours.

I thought that warranted repeating! I might even put it in bold AND italics for effect...

So as you might expect there is a story leading up to this moment of blind panic and heartfelt joy, and like all good stories in my life they start at my partner and I's favourite place in the world: Weston-Super-Mare.

Well, if we're going to get technical it actually started 2 days before on the Friday. (20th April 2018 if you're wondering!) After a hard weeks slog selling plugs and sockets to the masses I arrived home from work and I'm greeted to a rather flustered girlfriend who has been suffering from severe stomach cramps for the entirety of the day. Now, this in itself is usually a worrying symptom for anyone to have out of the blue, but this ailment was occurring at the end of a contraceptive cycle where bleeding and cramps kick in as the other half's girly bits whirl back in to action after being left dormant for the past 3 months since the last hormone injection. (Yes, you're correct in what you're thinking. She did have contraceptive injections throughout her pregnancy so generally you'd think there would be nothing to worry about... Did you know the injection is only 92% effective? That percentage has been seared in to my brain since I found that out!) While we're learning things here's another thing you probably don't know about me: I LOVE walking, (my partner not so much but she tolerates it/me) and after a full week finished at work coupled with the fact it had been an incredibly warm and sunny day we decided to go on one of our favourite routes down to and along the river, in to the basin and around the docks where narrow boats are moored, then back through a large park area where there are miniature railway tracks installed for enthusiasts to bring their engines down and tow carriages full of children along on bank holiday weekends. (Sounds quaint, doesn't it?!) Well, this journey on a good day would take us about an hour at a reasonable pace along with the occasional stop to grab a Pokemon, (don't ask) but on this particular attempt we had to give up after staggering about a third of the distance after an hour and a half. You probably have me pictured as some sort of brute wielding a whip over my harangued girlfriend who's in agony forcing her to frog march against her will but frequently, (every 200 meters or so... whenever she creased over in pain) I kept asking her if she wanted to turn around, but due to her strong will, (or stubbornness) and her high pain threshold, (she played women's rugby) she was adamant she wanted to carry on. We eventually returned home and she went for a long hot shower, (we have no bath) which seemed to ease the pain for her to a more tolerable level.

Saturday, (21st April) was a fairly uneventful day with the other half admitting that the pain had eased a little and she was on the downward slope to her lady bits getting back in order, so with that in mind we went on and did what we usually do most Saturdays, visit my Nan with fish and chips for a catch up and hope to get back home before 6pm for a evening of movies and nibbles. At this point I should probably make you aware that April for myself personally is a very busy and expensive month with Birthdays of my Mum, Nan, girlfriend, girlfriends Dad and Brother in law to allocate money and/or attention to, (and now my Son, thanks kid.) and that Sunday, (22nd April) was our only free day in the entirety of the month to go to our favourite place in the world, Weston-Super-Mare. Being the kind and considerate boyfriend that I am, (well, most of the time anyway) it was at this point in the weekend in between whichever movies we were watching where I turned to my significant other and asked her if she still wanted to go to our home away from home. "YES." she said rather abruptly. She said it with such vigor while looking me straight in the eyes that I knew she wouldn't take no for an answer and I've learnt over the many years of being with her that when she speaks about anything with such conviction it is pointless arguing with her. So we got up early and preceded to drive to Brean Down for a slow walk along the beach before heading to the local arcades and then along the coast to Weston where we hit the shops, more arcades and the pier, (one big arcade/amusement centre) a walk along the promenade to Birnbeck, (the old pier which has fallen in to disrepair) and then finishing off with a cheeky Nandos before the drive home. Over the course of the day we walked just over 7 miles, and all with the girlfriend's lady bits giving her as much hassle as they had given her on the Friday before.

The drive home was pretty uneventful until we were about 20 minutes away from where we live. It was at this point where the stomach pains were getting intense, to the point where she couldn't even sit in the passenger seat comfortably any more, so the missus spent the last 15 miles in various positions any contortionist would have been proud of. As soon as we pulled up to the house the other half leapt out of the car like a lethargic gazelle and went straight inside to start the only thing which had eased her back ache up to this point, a hot shower, whereas I retired to the relative safety of my PC to catch up on the day's events and watch the odd video on YouTube. It was about 30 minutes later while watching a video that I could hear this moan emanating from our kitchen over the sound coming from my closed back headphones... which means she was loud. After dropping tools instantly, (well, carefully placing them down anyway... they were expensive!) I went to the kitchen to see my significant other, hands clasped to the kitchen worktop with a vice-like grip bent over in pain. I asked her if she had had a hot shower yet to which she replied yes and it had not helped in the slightest. This got me worried. It was 10:30pm on a Sunday night and the missus who can usually take being ran in to by women twice her size and triple her weight, (it' a rugby thing) was creased up and close to sobbing, something I've never seen her do in the nine and a half years we had been together. Naturally I wanted to race her to accident and emergency to get her seen to within the next 6 hours, (if we're lucky... good old NHS) but the girlfriend was insistent on phoning 111 to see what the medically unqualified operator had to say, (ahem) and after 10 minutes of wincing in pain and going through the set questionnaire, (the first question being "are you pregnant" to which the answer was "I don't think so as I'm on the contraceptive injection") we were instructed to go to our nearest A&E department. After a fraught drive to hospital and (eventually) finding a parking space in the poor excuse of an area they like to call a car park even in off-peak hours, (another rant for another time) I helped my girlfriend in to the hospital where we were processed quickly by the receptionist and then asked to find a seat among a sea of aches, pains, breaks, cuts and, (no doubt) communicable diseases. The problem now though was my significant other couldn't sit down and if the hospital was going to be typically British about their queuing system, (first come, first served) then we would have hours to wait before being seen by someone. It was here, sitting in the waiting room watching the occasional nurse coming to the front and calling someone's name while my better half is all knotted up inside and can't sit down, where the enormity of the situation started to dawn on me. We were both prone to being ill every so often, but apart from a couple of procedures we've both had since being together, (a lump removed from my neck and her tonsils removed) neither of us have been particularly ill to the point of hospitalization. That added to the fact my partner is adopted and knows nothing about her family medical history and the acceleration of her condition over the past couple of hours lead me to believe there was something seriously wrong, life threatening even. It was while I was caught within this whirlwind of thoughts and emotions that a nurse who hadn't reared her head at the front of the waiting room before made a bee line for my loved one and then proceeded to help her through the doors and in to a cubicle where a gaggle of nurses were waiting for her. They were all running around setting up drips and peeling back the crisp, clean and slightly over starched bed sheets before helping her get in to as much a horizontal position on the bed as she could muster.

The next moment I'll remember for the rest of my life. A slightly older nurse compared to the rest of the ladies whirling around my lady approached us and asked,

"So are you ready to have your baby?"

Our response, almost in unison was,

"What?"

All the sounds of the emergency room drained from my ears whilst I contemplated both the question being asked and the response I was going to give. Thankfully, (in one regard anyway) we were not given a lot of time to fully take in the moment, (or let the blind panic set in) as it was at this time the girlfriend's water broke and we were escorted to a birthing suite. She was DEFINITELY pregnant and she was DEFINITELY going to give birth!

I think that's a good place to leave this part, I'll pick it back up from here in the next few weeks detailing what I can remember of the birth itself, (a lot of it is a blur but I'll try to recall the less graphic details for next time) as well as the media sensation which our son turned out to be... but that will be for part 2.

Again, I am sorry about not tending to this blog for so long but to put a thought to paper in the context I want to hasn't been priority recently and although entries from here on in will be sporadic they shouldn't die off all together. See you in part 2.

Thanks once again for taking the time to read this and hopefully I'll see you next time!

Scott.


Check Out My Youtube Channel: www.YouTube.com/PalicoPadge

Let Me Introduce Myself Part 3: A Proper PC Upbringing

 I can't believe as a guy who makes YouTube lets play videos for a hobby on PC gaming has managed to get away with waiting until his third blog entry to actually address his PC history to anyone still sticking around to read it! But please, before you go clicking off this I'd just like to say that this is the last introductory blog entry I shall be doing so you can rest confidently now knowing my cynical and slightly sarcastic views and opinions on the world of gaming together with life in general thrown in will commence in the coming entries forthwith. I mean, Logan Paul... what a bellend. AMIRIGHT? But before we start upsetting the legions of unquestioning automatons regarded as his "subscribers", (never has the word fan been so appropriate... it would take a fanatic to be able to defend and justify that prick's attitude and actions towards other people in my humble opinion) we better get on to the subject of my love for the personal computer and gaming upon said item.

Now although I started this blog series with the what's and wherefore's regarding the Commodore 64 I feel the need to create a single entry to detail my history with the open platform gaming machine which is currently going through a bit of a renaissance over the past few years. I could have pegged all this together in to one super-blog as I suppose technically the C64 and PC are one of the same, at least in essence. The one thing which has always bugged me is the fact machines of old were recalled as being "Home Computers" as opposed to all modern iterations which are referred to as "Personal Computers". Why? Is it a price thing? One could argue that today's PC's out of the box is more or less comparable to what you were paying for a Commodore or Spectrum back in the day so I guess it's more to do with the fact back in the 1980's one computer per household was enough whereas today you'd be lucky to find someone who doesn't have at least one piece of technology on their being at any one time if you take in to consideration how advanced a mobile phone is alone these days. But I digress...

I'd like to tell you that after my initial introduction to "home computing" via the C64 I was savvy enough to continue my interest with these modern contraptions all throughout my life but with taking half a decade out due to the convenience and speedy loading times of consoles when I finally did decide to re-introduce myself in to the multimedia extravaganza that had become "personal computing" I didn't have a fucking clue. I'd like to say that after doing intricate research on the matter I had enough understanding of the technology to know what to purchase and what I could expect to get out it for applications, (and games) but as a teenager that was never going to happen! So what amazing application or game charmed me enough to warrent me to try and convince my parents in to spending a sizeable amount of money on yet another games machine as far as they were concerned?  (I'd just like to say at this point that yes, I did play the "it'll be for homework!" card and thankfully they fell for that hook, line, sinker, rod and copy of the angling times.) Could it have been the interactive marvel that was Encarta 95 with those grainy videos and crackly sound bites? Was it the very business orientated and professional look of the desktop in Windows 95? I'm afraid not. I can honestly say in all seriousness it came down to a screensaver based on a Guinness advert.

In retrospect it does seem kind of pathetic to think that what has governed my social and professional life for over a quarter of a century all started with a screensaver for a popular brand of Irish stout, and to be honest it isn't even the best advert they have ever come up with. If you have clicked on the above link you've already seen that the advert itself is just a man doing a silly dance in order to kill some time while waiting for a pint of the black stuff to settle properly but for some reason as a screensaver I thought it was a interactive marvel. I mean, LOOK AT HIM!! He's dancing on my screen whenever I want him to! Well, as long as I don't touch the keyboard or mouse for a predetermined time frame anyway. Now before you start to think of me as being a complete imbecile you need to remember that this was at a time when the most sophisticated thing I'd seen on a computer before this was animation in a Commodore 64 game and this guy was grinding around on the screen JUST like he did on the TV. And I think that's why it struck a chord with me, it was the first time I had seen a computer be able to reproduce a picture like I had seen in another more acceptable and at the time vastly superior format. If I thought more of myself at the time I would say it was because it was at that exact moment that I realised the future potential of the PC and how one day it would rival television, radio and newspapers in it's everyday use as a multimedia platform... but it was only because of a man doing a silly dance for a pint on the screen in order to not have the desktop image burned in to it's surface.

So I got my first official PC! A 486 DX2-66 with 4 megabytes of RAM, a VERY basic sound/video card and a 250MB hard drive. (I think anyway, I'm not too sure on the HDD to be honest.) It wasn't the most up to date computer by any means at the time and I'm pretty sure the guy who built it, (called Mike who I ended up working for eventually) built it out of  "re-purposed" parts but I never had an issue with it from the day I got it until the day I upgraded the machine beyond the original components and case itself. It was at this point that any friends who had secretly been PC gamers came out of the woodwork recognising me as one of their own due to the pale complexion, bloodshot eyes and strong wrists... but that could be any teenage boy I guess. As I stated in my last blog entry the tribal mentality of console gamers ruled the playground, to the point where the very small clique of nerds who preferred a computer to a PlayStation for their boyhood jaunts of gaming would not even bother to defend their steely software platform for fear of being drowned out by a bunch of neanderthals not sophisticated enough to recognise the advanced power hidden away in those mini-towers. (PC Master race FTW!) But with a raise of the eyebrows and a nod of the head I was welcomed in to the coven that was the "I.T.ists". These guys, (and a single girl as we're all for gender equality in our forward thinking group who were desperate for any female attention at that age) opened my eyes to the many different genres unable to be properly showcased on a console. Point and click games, strategy and simulation games became my favourite types with Settlers 2 and Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards, (VGA version of course!) being two of the first and most loved games I played. Although FPS games can have diverse themes the base workings remain the same but with more story-intrinsic and broadly different mechanics the games I discovered no matter how old they were they still felt fresh.

This isn't the time or place to start listing my favourite games on the PC, (that will be in another blog entry when I can't think of anything better to write about!) there are a few games which really frame that time in my life, mainly due to the fact I was part of the "I.T.ists" at my high school. We essentially were the guys, (and girl) who looked after the network PCs, from standard laborious chores like cleaning them up, (inside and out) to having a go at rectifying any hardware or software issues that crept up from the pupils messing about on them during lessons with one very special Summer where we replaced all the machines throughout the school and helped configure them. Now, that might sound boring to anyone uninitiated in to the group but certain school responsibilities awarded certain perks, the main one being left alone for a couple of hours after school while the teachers finished up paperwork or prepared for tomorrows lessons which meant we had free reign on the schools computers in that time! As well as having a connection to the internet at a reasonable speed for the time, (ISDN as opposed to a 56.6k modem) the more important factor was having access to 30 computers all linked up together.

THAT'S RIGHT KIDS, WE HAD NETWORK GAMING SESSIONS!

In today's fibre optic landscape it's very easy to forget where the humble beginnings of the internet began. I'm not going to lecture you on how today's youngsters don't realise how easy they have it, I'd assume if you're reading this you too suffered the pain of a dial up modem with having to disconnect whenever another family member wanted to call someone while also putting your PC gaming mates on your friends and family list with your telephone service provider in order to get a discount for calling them so damn often because of playing 1v1 on Command and Conquer all the time but I'll say this; THE PAIN WAS REAL. So, having access to multiple computers on the same network for multiplayer sessions of Quake, Duke Nukem 3D, Doom 2 and eventually the original Grand Theft Auto were a marvel and I have very fond memories for that time of my life. This was also a time where no real DRM existed which meant the sharing of 3.5" floppies and CD's with full games on them were common practice, and in the rare times where a game needed to have the CD in the drive in order to get the game working the school had a handy CD re-writer built in to the teacher's work computer and we were "trusted" with the password to it! Even back then it felt like what we were doing for those couple of hours at the end of every school day was something special, groundbreaking even, but I don't think any of us would imagine how much common interactivity there would be in gaming some 20 years later. From your standard PvP games to such simpler things such as having an online high score table to even being able to zap yourself in to someone else's single player experience just to fuck with them a bit. I'm looking at you, Dark Souls! For four years this was my life outside of the rigmorale of forced education and naturally these friendships I made through the PC gaming scene at school carried on outside of it too. Remember the guy I wrote about in my first blog about the Commodore 64? The kid who had a ZX Spectrum who amazed me with his little black box with rubber keys? Well he was in this group too and although I never acknowledged this at the time it would seem in retrospect I owe my love of computers and gaming in general to him... so thanks Pete.

When you're at school playing on those up to date computers everyone involved are on equal terms; everyone has the same specs, peripherals, screens etc. but towards the end of my school life my own computer started falling behind minimum specs for a respectable gaming rig. Games began to run slow or even not at all and seeing as this was a "family" computer and still very capable of performing the tasks asked by the other members of the household I noticed month after month the selection of games I could play were getting to the point of non-existence. At this point I have received a few upgrades from the 486 through birthdays and Christmas gifts - nothing significant enough to mention here, but with no way to finance any new parts for the big box in the corner myself, (I had a paper round where I delivered 300+ newspapers for just over £5 a week!) I had to turn to alternative methods of gaming. This was when I discovered the term abandonware. Abandonware in itself is a dirty word, supposedly any software not directly supported by the developer or publisher could be classed as "abandoned" and so open to free distribution and download. It seemed like a lot of developers were very open to their older games which haven't been freely available for a few years to be easily downloaded and played by people who wouldn't necessarily have played them in the first place, hell, maybe even have heard of them at all! But with the PC being such an open platform this was a very real possibility for anyone savvy enough to have a look on the old interwebs. Thankfully this was the beginning of the internet being a lot more widely recognised by the general populace as a viable way to project your passions to a wider audience and with a bit of digging around the wondrous treasures to be found under the heading of abandonware were mine for the discovering! Suddenly a whole world of older games which were uglier compared to their newer, better looking compadres but with no less gameplay to them had been sprung open to me and were there for me to poke and prod around with. There were games that I had heard of through conversations at school or games I remember hearing about from a few years before which I suddenly had access to and the only constraints to me playing them being the time I could afford to invest in them. This for myself was where my informal education to gaming came in to play and thankfully by having access to a potato of a machine I could now fill in the gaps from the 5 years I'd missed out on while hanging out with the cool console kids. But even better still was I could go beyond even that era, I could experience games from when I first had my Commodore and further back still. My catalogue had expanded so significantly and my choice was so varied now and all because I couldn't run the latest games my friends were playing... and I'm glad. Without this "ailment" I never would have uncovered old gems like The Oregon Trail, Jones in the Fast Lane, Street Rod, Lost Dutchman Mine, Sid Meier's Pirates and Rockstar! to name but a few and even today with every PC I build and/or upgrade I always make sure one of the first actions I do is to transfer my favourite games of yesteryear along with the latest version of DosBox on to the hard drive.

I guess while you're at school you don't really have a lot to worry about other than homework, keeping your grades at a respectable level with only doing the minimum effort needed in order to achieve this and wooing any females gracious enough to show you any interest in you so time can be a very cheap commodity. It's not until you leave education and enter the world of full time employment that you realise that time, your own time especially, is precious. And with every year onward with increasing responsibilities through work and family commitments the value of that hour here or that hour there you can squeeze in for yourself never seems to be enough to accomplish what you would like to do. Even at the age of 17 I started to figure this out rather quickly when I ended my college course early to go and work full time in PC installation and maintenance. Here I was, working 8am until 5pm building and installing computers around the UK for large and small companies on networks compared to my friends who were sleeping in until 10am and going to college/university for a few hours and then going out on the lash on a weeknight. A WEEKNIGHT I TELL YOU!! I've never been a big drinker and although these days I can sink a few back sensibly and be alright the next day this was not a possibility back then as I hadn't drawn that practical line in the sand yet. If I was drinking I was drinking to get drunk. Smashed. Shitfaced. There was no in-between! But as I was in full time employment on a apprentice's wage, (not a lot but I was earning more than my peers at the time) and the fact I chose not to go out in the week as management "frowned" on turning up drunk at work more than a couple of times in short duration I decided to invest my time and money in to my own PC at home. It would be silly not to really as I built them by day, (so I could throw bits in to it and have it all configured pretty quick) and I also had access to all the suppliers who could supply me with multiple components at trade prices! So although the items I decided to buy were still expensive at the time they should have been a hell of a lot more costly than what I payed for them so I splashed as much money at my little box as I could rationally afford! This meant budget gaming for myself - finding good abandonware titles and downloading free to play games - became a thing of the past as I could play whatever new title interested me as soon as it was published! And although since then I have had times when PC gaming hasn't been at the forefront of my social life, (thanks heady twenties!) I have always strived to have a semi-capable PC so I can at least keep up with the computer culture pack and know enough of what's going on at any one time to stay in the loop.

Although I don't work directly in the computer trade now, (still dealing with electrics though!) and the fact I now have a long term and very forgiving girlfriend (who allows me enough time to myself each week to do YouTube as a hobby) PC gaming for me right now is back at the forefront of any spare time I have and I'll relish this time as much as I can in the knowledge that realistically the next natural step for myself and my partner is marriage and children and at the bare minimum time will become even more of a constraint than it is already. My only hope is that my love of gaming, PC gaming in particular will rub off on my spawn and they too will grow up in as exciting a time for computing as I was lucky enough to grow up in. I'd like to think that Padge Jr will one day write a blog when he is my age now, (if writing still exists and Skynet doesn't just read your brainwaves directly) and be able to comment on how he/she had the most amazing childhood playing in the new VR suite they had mum and dad buy so they could do their homework better... or something along those lines anyway.

So that's it! The early years covered at a very basic level. I'd like to think that by my writing you're getting an idea on the kind of guy I am and hope what to expect in future blog entries. I've only really skipped over the basics and have many other stories to tell from both this era and beyond but I'm sure they'll be time for that in other blogs... and don't even get me started on talking about my time with World of Warcraft.

 Thanks once again for taking the time to read this and hopefully I'll see you next time!

Scott.


Check Out My Youtube Channel: www.YouTube.com/PalicoPadge

Let Me Introduce Myself Part 2: Camaraderie Through Consoles!

Now I don't want to sound too self-indulgent when it comes to me writing these blog posts, although committing my thoughts to virtual paper for the masses to read is in itself a self-indulgent act, (irony!) but I figure we'll all get on a lot better if you can at the very minimum see why I come to the conclusions I arrive at if you have at least a familiarity of my background and what makes me tick. This is me trying to be as clear and transparent as I can be in a world where masking one's true intent for fear of offending someone, anyone, has started to become the norm. I mean, no-one wants to be that guy/girl/non-binary do they?! In a world where it is so easy for someone to take offence and in return recompense in a militaristic fashion it pays dividends to keep your cards close to your chest at all times. And with everybody having a virtual presence either from the likes of Facebook or Twitter to even owning a bank account everyone has a vulnerability which can be exposed and taken advantage of for whatever reason... whenever the feeling arises. That is a scary thought! And who can blame anyone for being a lot more secretive when it comes to omitting their own true thoughts and opinions? But I say this; does it not make more sense to be as open as you dare to be in order to quell any suspicions of the contrary? Surely it is better for someone to know where they stand with you, (for ill or good) than to be forever questioning your loyalties and judgement? And in a world where you will always offend someone either by a differing view or from a lack of forethought to a throwaway comment which we are all guilty of from time to time, (It's what you say/type on the internet, never how you say it!) the only person you should be straight up with is yourself. In essence, say what you mean and mean what you say. I quote Elvis Costello, "Don't wear your heart on your sleeve when your remarks are off the cuff." And when you choose to publish anything on the internet, be it a Youtube video or a blog entry your soul is exposed to being poked and prodded by any and all nefarious types which come across it. People who claim to not be bothered on any level by that either don't care enough about their creations in the first place or are full of shit.

 So why do I start the second entry to my blog - which is supposed to be about my gaming history, to allow you to peak in to my mindset and, (hopefully) to help you, dear reader understand how I reach the conclusions I arrive at - with a paragraph detailing how saying what you feel is the truth from your viewpoint could be construed as offensive to others? SIMPLE. Console gaming in my humble opinion is one of the most tribal of technological leisure activities you can affordably be a part of today, and that has been the way since the Atari 2600 burst on to the scene along with it's competitors back in 1977. But why? The answer I think is a relatively simple one; It's because of the hardware and the fact you can't modify or upgrade anything within that base unit you purchased from the store. Everybody has the same set-up, with only the different makes of console to differ you from Willy and Billy down the street. Because of this it's very easy to draw big rivalries between owners of the Super Nintendo and the Sega Megadrive or the Playstation 2 and the original Xbox. Now you could say that that was relatively true for my beloved Commodore 64 when being measured up to the Spectrum ZX and although both very popular at around the same time from a hardware perspective they were an ocean apart in a technological sense. Although these days from a similar viewpoint you have tech-fiends arguing about which company manufactures the best graphics cards, CPU's, motherboards etc. etc, there is such a diverse choice out there that no complete PC can be directly compared to another.

 And they're so damn accessible! Plug and play and you're away! A product for the masses... but still expensive within themselves. Take in to account the fact that buying the base unit is only the start of what is still an expensive hobby if you want to keep up to date with the latest game releases, along with the yearly online subscription you need to purchase to even be allowed to play with your friends regularly means most people still only end up picking one console from the handful available in any given generation. This breeds a playground rivalry from the owner of said chosen console brand to justify their choice; to feel like they have made the wise decision and the owners of the other brands are complete idiots for choosing their complete potato of a machine. And these rivalries can be fucking vicious, man. I remember being at school and hearing about a guy being bullied incessantly because he had a Atari 7800 when all his peers had a NES. Don't get me wrong, I know kids generally can be vicious little shits at the best of times and in that period of your life all you want to do is fit in, but just look how the rivalries of the latest consoles breed as much contempt as past generations of gaming machines yet the average age of your run-of-the-mill gamer is between 18 and 35. That means there are a lot more adults who should know better throwing their tuppence worth in to the shit storm that is the ever evolving console war. We're not completely to blame however, and as long as the behemoths of the video game industry insist on having console exclusives and getting away with blaming "netcode" and other such bollocks for not allowing cross-platform online play from games produced by independent developers, rivalries will continue at the fever pitch it has been at for last 30 years.

 But I digress. Gaming consoles! Console gaming! That's what I said I'd write about and I'll stick to the plan... this time. At 10 years old for Christmas after having my well loved and well used Commodore 64 for five years I was ready for a change. I had grown bored of the wait times for loading games via a cassette, (although in retrospect it was never that long but at that tender age it felt like a eternity) and with myself having just started at middle school the previous September I was very much aware of what other kids were watching/reading/playing and I learnt, very quickly, that console gaming was at the forefront of the playground banter. Friends new and old were pulled in to the exciting world of 16 bit gaming via the Megadrive and SNES becoming more affordable after being on the market for around 18 months and boy! was there a frenzy in that first term at school leading up to Christmas. Obviously you had the cool kids who's rich parents had bought the console within the first 6 months of release and were viewed with starry-eyed wonder due to their veteran status with their chosen machine by their peers but now we, the common folk, could finally enter the gaming clique of our choosing. No longer would we be hovering around the edges of society, (well... the school yard) listening with intrigue about the tall stories of a podgy Italian plumber or a blue hedgehog. Now even I can throw myself headfirst in to the pixel world of whichever gaming mascot I chose to enlist under! The question was though, which one? Both of the popular machines of the time had their merits but it would appear, at least in my friendship circle, that the SNES was the way to go. So on Christmas day in 1993 I awoke to a rather large present which just so happened to be a Super Nintendo Entertainment System complete with a Superscope and Superscope 6 game, (more of a tech demo for the bazooka-shaped light gun but I don't think many developers got the memo on that) F-Zero and Super Mario All-Stars. And that was me set at school; I was welcomed in to the SNES fold as one of their own, a fellow Nintendo enthusiast brought in to the ranks ready to defend the honour of our kind at a drop of a hat. And even today I still think picking that over the Sega Megadrive/Genesis was the way to go... Now was that because of the neater looking graphics? The unique Mode 7 design? The no gore effect in Mortal Kombat? I'd like to say yes, (except for that last one) it was EXACTLY for those reasons, but at 10 years old it boiled down to one key yet shallow reason; it's what all my friends had. A decision made not by good judgement or meticulous research in to the choices I had at the time, but popularity. And although it would seem that at least this time I had chosen the winning side I believe there were no actual losers in this generation, it all just depended on what you found fun. It's true that the Megadrive had the faster paced games and smoother gameplay feel but I was never really in to sports games or action/bullet hell shooters which would take advantage of those aspects on that console. And anyway I had a plethora of interesting adventure games, RPGs, platformers, fighters and racers to occupy my time.

 "For fuck's sake Padge! you've been rabbiting on and you've hardly covered any games yet!!" I hear you cry, and I'm just as shocked as you to be honest. As I type this I never really thought I'd go this deep in to the "why's" of console gaming in my past as opposed to the "what's", but I guess that's because I feel I've matured past the minimalist pleasures that a console offers, and which is always on the back foot from a tech perspective compared to the sophistication that a PC can deliver, but that's for another blog entry. (I know... very PC Master Race right?) SO, the games. I played F-Zero to DEATH. I loved it. It was my go-to game for a very long time duly to the futuristic setting, the breakneck speed you travelled at, (over 400 km/h!) and the fact you could be completely destroyed if you didn't pay the attention needed to the car racing at that velocity because of the hazards on the track like the mines... or the other cars low on energy and about to blow up themselves... or the sides of the track which were deadly to the touch! And I also really digged the the instruction manual which doubled as a scene setting comic book! Compared to the Commodore 64 which in itself had a fair few games that felt like they were pushing boundaries of what an entertainment system could offer this game in particular felt like it was on another level completely. It is a classic in every sense of the word and this is shown time and again by the multiple nods it gets in other games, from the likes of Mariokart, (an obvious one) to Animal Crossing: Wild World. The other cartridge I had that Christmas, the aforementioned Super Mario All-Stars was a culmination of enhanced remakes of the first 3 Super Mario games along with the Japan only version of Super Mario 2 labelled as "The Lost Levels". From a relatively sensible child's perspective who would only be getting 2 games to go with his brand new console, (one from Nan, one from Mumsy) this seemed like a cost effective solution to a very real problem for anyone with limited access to funds; value for money. It was 4 games in 1 cartridge damn it! The maths don't lie!! So technically I had 5 games to last me until my birthday and last me they did, and beyond. Now you've probably noticed I haven't mention the Superscope much and that's because no-one else really did anything with it. A gimmicky light gun which Nintendo hoped more developers would support but sadly did not. I guess they were trying to riff off the back of the original light gun idea after the popularity of Duck Hunt but with the thinking of "bigger is better", (it was shaped like a fucking bazooka after all!) but it seems instead of people embracing this mega peripheral and the scope itself becoming a bulwark of gaming it was seen as a one trick pony with too narrow a field of use to be fully seized upon. Sadly this would seems to be a recurring problem with each new console generation, where towards the end of their natural life our living rooms are filled with plastic inessential controllers to games long forgotten about due to the fact it's too much effort to set up compared to picking up a regular controller... but I guess we're the mugs as we keep buying them and buying in to the "unique game design" of using them in the first place... at least until we have a large group of friends or family come round to your house anyway.

 So what of later games? Over the next few years I managed to add to my collection through birthdays and Christmases with both physical copies for games I'd asked for and games bought through an accumulation of money from said celebrations to what I like to think is a nice selection of electronic distractions. Within my assortment you could find the likes of Super Smash TV, Super Mario Kart, Disney's Aladdin and The Magical Quest starring Mickey Mouse, Killer Instinct, Mortal Kombat, Mortal Kombat II, Super Mario World, Donkey Kong Country, Street Fighter II and WWF Royal Rumble. Although I had a few of the more popular amusements within my collection I never felt the need to get all the classics due to 2 simple reasons, swapping between friends and video game rental. As I've said before, I was blessed with having a large friendship group which meant there were a lot of Super Nintendo's flying around which lead to a lot of different types of games being bought and, like any kids at our age our attention span could be measured in nano-seconds. So when one of you got bored of playing game X we could walk over to our friends house and swap it for game Y for a few weeks which meant (generally) everyone was a winner. Occasionally you would swap a rubbish game for a better one to a friend or as we all started to grow up some people would stop playing with their SNES, (quitters) but were still open to swapping games so the swap at that point was more like insurance than theft - never borrowed, always swapped! The other is a dead concept in the traditional sense these days and that was going to Choices Video in the UK, (a tackier Blockbuster if you're not aware of the brand) and renting a game over the weekend for a couple of quid. I know these days you can stream certain games for a fee or if you subscribe to certain gaming platforms they allow you to play whatever you want for as long as you're subscribed but these are both long-term contractual services, not something you can afford to do on a whim on some cold rainy Saturday afternoon in March. Admittedly, the second hand market is a lot larger at your local Gamestop or CEX nowadays, but you generally have to spend a lot more on a piece of software which you have no knowledge of how it's actually been treated before you acquired it. That makes me uneasy... and with more and more games these days being download only that isn't even an option for 70% of the time. "Games as subscription" is how I believe the business managers refer to it as, more like a subscription to the games you've already paid outright for... but that rant is for another time.

 So what am I getting at after all the babbling... and why have I only talked about the SNES? Surely I've had more than just the ONE console in my entire life? Well, yes I have. To cover them quickly I have owned at one point or another a Gameboy, (twice... there was a headbutting incident) a Playstation, a PS2, an XBox 360, a PS3, a Nintendo Wii, a Nintedo WiiU, a PS4, (well I guess you know what side my bread has been buttered in the following generations of the console war!) and an Amstrad GX4000. Apart from the Amstrad which my grandparents bought to keep me quiet whenever I visited, (it worked... for a short while) all of the others played second fiddle to the PC we had either as a family computer, (for "homework" - LOL!) or as my own gaming machine. That means that my time with the Super Nintendo if the only "pure" experience I've had with consoles where nothing other than that machine was my main gaming focus. I feel it would be unfair to talk about the rest on how they made me feel as a teenager or young adult as these other consoles haven't defined me as a gamer since I first launched Settlers 2 on my 486 DX2 66. Of course there have been console exclusives which I've delved in to over the years which are usually the reason why I owned those consoles in the first place but since my early to mid teens the PC is where my heart has been.

To conclude, my first and only dedicated foray in to console gaming as a youngster brought me acceptance, camaraderie and a shared wealth of gaming diversity, and I guess when I slip on those rose-tinted glasses I can kind of see why the latest generation of the console wars have soldiers on either side fighting the good fight as intensely as they do... it's for that feeling of kinship and inclusion.

 Thanks once again for taking the time to read this and hopefully I'll see you next time!

Scott.


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